An alternative title could be: “STOP POLLING YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS FOR ADVICE ON ACHIEVING YOUR DREAMS. “
When you start pursuing a dream or something new, one of the BEST WAYS to trip yourself up is to share what you’re doing to your Facebook and ask for advice.
- “Hey, I have an app idea! Anyone have thoughts on next steps?”
- “I’m thinking of going back to school, what do y’all think?”
- “I want to show my art in a gallery! Excited to be working on this! Anyone have tips?”
“Wait, Shouldn’t I ask for advice?”
“Hold up,” you’re probably thinking. “Asking for resources is exactly what i should do!!”
Let me explain.
When you start doing something new, when you decide to go after your dreams and do things differently – people will come out of the woodwork to give you advice.
The PROBLEM is that many many (a majority) of those people have no experience in what you’re doing – and few of them have actually built something or truly gotten out of their comfort zone for a sustained period of time.
It’s so easy to get confused and become uncertain and afraid. Everyone has different advice!!
I see this with clients ALL the time. Their heads swim with conflicting strategies and input. It can feel so overwhelming.
People Give “Advice” They Have No Business Giving
Here’s the thing. People like to feel knowledgable, so they’ll give advice they have NO BUSINESS giving. Giving advice makes them feel important, and it also distracts them from having to do real actual work on their goals and dreams.
Ask for RESOURCES – Not Advice!
That said, I am a fan of leveraging your social media network to get access to people, resources and tips! So instead of asking for general tips and info, ask for RESOURCES.
- “Does anyone have resources on when to consider buying a home?”
- “Do you know of financial advisors or podcasts who talk about personal investing?”
- “I’m looking for connections to other recording artists or studios. Anyone have experience with this?”
Using phrasing that asks for RESOURCES totally changes the conversation.
You can share your journey and what you’re up to with the world, because some people will have resources or connections you didn’t know about!
Vet Your Sources
But when people come through with “You should” statements, ask yourself, “What is the experience of this person? Have they built something or done something really hard? Have they done what I’m trying to do?”
If not, smile and let the advice leave your experience. They mean well, but it’s not helpful.
You Have Access to Geniuses
This is why i love podcasts and personal development books. Thanks to the Internet, you can find what you need!! You can literally learn from people who have done what you’re trying to do, or something similar.
You can literally go onto the podcast platform of your choice, and search your topic. See what comes up! Genius is available at your fingertips.
Whew! Pep talk over.
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