What Self-Care Looks Like for Me | LGBT Influencer in Utah

July 22, 2020

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Folks love to debate what “self-care” is, as a lot of companies have turned the term into a “Treat yourself!” party where you blow your 401K on face masks that use gold dust.

That’s a little dramatic, but you get me.

The Proper Care & Keeping of Me, Bri!!

So, instead of getting into a debate about what’s self-care, self-love and spoiling myself – I lump it all under the umbrella called, “The Proper Care and Keeping of Me, Bri.”

I am a high maintenance lady who goes to a spa almost monthly (pre-COVID), and these behaviors and practices help me live my best life!

Let’s get started!

Self-Care Tip #1: I Viciously Curate My Social Media Feeds

There’s a lot of learned victimhood and temper tantrums on the internet, and I don’t engage in any of that. I am here for social justice, but not whining! So, I give myself free reign to curate my online spaces – filling them with actionable knowledge, insightful discussions and ENCOURAGING CONTENT THAT LIGHTS MY SOUL UP.

Read that last part again.

I stay the HECK away from energetic vampires on social media – you know the ones! God invented the “Snooze for 30 Days” and soft-blocking for a reason. I unfollow/mute people who think money is evil, gay people are bad, who use social media as their personal complaint jar, etc.

Self-Care Tip #2: I Make My Bed Every Morning

Growing up, I rarely made my bed (don’t tell my parents I told you that!). It wasn’t until I reached my late twenties that I started making my bed, as a way to have a “Small Victory” at the beginning of the day.

It was hard to get in the habit of doing this (shoutout to the Streaks App for helping), and it makes such a difference!

Self-Care Tip #3: I Drop $$$$ on Skincare and Esthetician Services

I am not shy or embarrassed about this! I drop a GOOD CHUNK OF CHANGE on beautiful skin. From chemical peels and spa treatments to my daily routine, I invest in. myself and I treat myself!

No apologies!

Self-Care Tip #4: No “Guilty” Pleasures

I’m a bit of a hedonist, and I’m definitely a maximalist – and I refuse to feel embarrassed or ashamed about what I love. If I want that eclair, I’m going to buy it and enjoy every bite! If I want to do an outrageous photoshoot with a feather boa, I’m gonna do that!

I celebrate the things that give me pleasure!

I’ve gotten better at this, but I used to carry a whole lot of guilt around (shoutout to my Protestant background) for LOVING things. Silly fun things that make life AWESOME. I ask myself, “Is this really something to feel self-conscious about?”

Nope, it’s usually not!

Self-Care Tip #5: Ask myself, “Is this my problem to solve?”

I have a savior complex like you would NOT BELIEVE, and I often exhaust myself and fail to take care of myself in an effort to “help” others.

When it’s honestly just me avoiding my own crap.

Sound familiar?

When I feel the need to jump in with my super shero (yes, SHERO) cape on, I take a step back and ask, “Is this my problem to solve?” This keeps me from steamrolling people who don’t want the full force of my energy at that moment, and it keeps me in check.

It usually isn’t. <3

Self-Care Tip #6: Ask myself, “Will this matter at my funeral/ What do I want people to say about me at my funeral?”

When I’m feeling really anxious (which is… frequently), I ask myself this question to help add some perspective.

I know what I want people to say about me at my funeral, and I know how I want to make people feel around me. If I’m faced with an ethical dilemma or issue, this question helps me zoom out and stop hyperventilating.

Self-Care Tip #7: High Thread Count Bed Sheets

I discovered this accidentally, after staying in a friend’s guest bedroom. Y’ALL! LUXURY SHEETS ARE WHERE IT IS AT!! THEY WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND HAVE SAVED MY SLEEP SCHEDULE.

Love it.

Self-Care Tip #8: Saturday is Adulting Day (UGH)

I find adulting and planning super boring, but I know that until I can hire a personal valet and household manager – that I’m stuck with myself.

To deal with the (sometimes overwhelming) amount of adulting in my life, I’ve shoved it all to Saturday, AKA Adulting Day. This is the day that I clean my car, gas up my car, pay bills, do laundry, bleach my bathtub, call my grandma, call the sprinkler guy to come look at my lawn, and make a list of companies to call the next week.

If it’s boring and unglamorous and HAS to be done, it’s happening on Saturday. (More on my car ritual, here!)

Self-Care Tip #9: White Noise Machine FTW

Y’all, this bad boy CHANGED MY LIFE!! If you live with other people, or you wake up easily at night – THIS IS YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND.

I sleep better, and I work better, thanks to my white noise machine!

Self-Care Tip #10: Sunscreen 3-4X a Day

I keep bottles of sunscreen stashed in various places in my house, car and purse/work bag. I have an alarm on my phone that goes off every 3-4 hours, reminding me to reapply.

I’ve also trained my brain to put on sunscreen when I get in my car and buckle up.

Healthy skin is self-care!!!!

Self-Care Tip #11: Delete Social Media Apps Everyday

I love love LOVE the internet, and I love talking to people all day long. That said, it can get draining.

To get my brain right, I delete all social media apps from my phone at 8PM, and I don’t download them again until 10AM. I usually try to have 1 weekend day without ANY social media, only posting to my IG Story to connect with my readers!

This helps me have a more productive morning (I don’t sit on my phone in bed for an hour), and it helps me start and end my day with intention. I no longer wake up and reach for my phone to scroll through Facebook.

Okay, okay. I still do that – but the app isn’t there! So take THAT!