How I Feel Confident Wearing Plus Size Lingerie | 4 Tips for You!

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I recently shared a few blog posts about preparing for a boudoir photography shoot and a recent session I did in Salt Lake City, and I so appreciate the overwhelmingly positive response I received to these posts!

As the DMs poured in on instagram, a common question I was asked is, “How do you feel confident wearing lingerie?”

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📸 BOUDOIR BABE 📸 . I just spent about an hour trying to figure out which photos from @honeylarkboudoir to post. I had to loop in some friends to vote, so here are just a fewwww for the gram. 😂🙌🏻 . @honeylarkboudoir is a husband and wife photography team (hi Kyle and Tori!), who travel the United States taking pictures and making people feel fabulous. . When I was looking for a boudoir photographer in Utah, I wanted to be sure to work with a studio who celebrate people as they are – instead of contorting people into some cookie cutter idea of “sexy.” . When I saw @honeylarkboudoir’s feed I said, “YEP! This is IT!” . Tori and Kyle did such a good job of making me feel comfortable on location, and Kyle is really good at showing the kind of poses to try. I laughed throughout the shoot, and I had a blast flouncing around in lingerie. 💁🏻‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️ (Truly my best life!!) . I think boudoir photography is such a powerful way to feel better in your body and celebrate yourself, and I sometimes feel like I go a little *too* hard advocating for it. 😂 . A boudoir session is almost a state of mindfulness, where you’re taking time to intentionally celebrate yourself and the body you walk the world in. It’s reclaiming, it’s celebrating and it’s also just a heck of a lot of fun! 😍 : Have you thought of doing a boudoir session? Why or why not? Lmk below!! . 📸: @honeylarkboudoir . #FeelTheFit #plussizestyle #plussizelingerie #qwear

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Wearing Lingerie Confidently as a Plus Size Babe

I think that people of all sizes struggle to feel confident in their body, and wearing lingerie is the equivalent of yelling “LOOK AT ME!!!!!” so I totally get the hesitancy here.

This is made especially tough for fat-identified and plus size people, who often see an “idealized” plus size body modeling lingerie.

If you’re not an “hourglass shape” it can feel pretty yucky to shop for plus size lingerie, ya know? It’s a not-so-happy comparison party imho.

So, I thought pretty deeply on this question from my dear readers (that’s you!), and I’ve come up with 4 actionable ways you can feel confident in your body and rock some pretty sexy lingerie.

Image courtesy of Suma Jane Dark BoudoirPhotography

Quick Note – Wearing Lingerie for a Partner

I really believe – in my very bones – that wearing lingerie needs to be for the wearer. Don’t contort yourself into someone’s ideal of who you are! If a partner has inspired you to try lingerie, that’s super! Make sure that you’re honoring your Self and wearing it because you want to try it, too!

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Whoever you are, wherever you are, I hope today went well for you. . I spent Thanksgiving in Idaho, with a plethora of cousins and extended family. My dad loudly talked about a gay character on a TV show, demonstrating loud allyship in the most dad-like way possible. Crashing through the conversation with some classic dad jokes. . I brought immigration as a human rights issue. I gently corrected a “pilgrims/Indian” discussion. I learned and shared we were eating on Shoshone-Bannock land (google “What native land am I on?” and the first result will be an app that shows you what land you’re on). . My family has evolved a lot. My aunt asked if I was dating anyone. My grandma bought all of the granddaughters aprons – and was sent back to the store to get aprons for her grandsons. . I joked about writing a piece on my cousins allyship, but deleting it because i didn’t want to get my cousins excommunicated from the LDS church. They’re normally bright and airy people, and they looked me dead in the eyes and said, “That’s fine. We’ll go to hell together.” . When I first came out, going to extended family functions was hard. For a while, I didn’t go. But then my cousins gave me hope, and I decided to fight for those relationships. When I first started, I thought of it as “Existence as activism.” I was the only queer person most family members saw irl, and I would be damned if they got to pretend I didn’t exist. . This year, I’m grateful that my hard and gritty work to make my fashion dreams a reality is gaining traction. I’m like the metaphorical little plant breaking through the dirt. . I’m grateful to you, for joining me on my journey and sharing yours. I’ve met some fabulous people on this little app. . I’d love to hear about your Thanksgiving, if you’re up for it. 😘 . 📸: @sumajanedark . #PlusSizeBoudoir #lilsnaxx #qwear #queerfashion #chosenfamily #qwear #effyourbeautystandards #plussizeblogger #alternativecurves #witchesofig #bigmagic

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Action Item #1: Follow Body Positive Accounts on Social Media

We spend a lot of time scrolling through social media, and seeing people live their #BestLives on the gram can awaken a whole set of feelings.

But we can use our feeds to our advantage by following people with shapes and bodies similar to ours, and being sure to follow a diverse set of people! One of the best things I ever did for my self-confidence was to surround myself with imagery of other plus size babes who looked like me!!

Maybe I need to do a roundup on plus size babes who rock lingerie, but a few folks I think you should follow for this kind of content are:

Plus size model, Saucye West, for Suma Jane Dark

You can take this one step further and follow hashtags on Instagram like #VisiblyPlusSize #AlternativeCurves and #FatAndFree to see diverse bodies show up in your feed!

Action Item #2: Start with Flowy Lingerie

For babes who are just tipping their toe in new waters, I would recommend starting with a plus size babydoll set or chemise! I am all about strappy pieces (YES!) that show my body in all of its glory, but I didn’t start out here.

More flowy pieces can help you feel more comfortable wearing lingerie, eventually inspiring you to expand your comfort zone!

Action Item #3: Hang Out at Home in Lingerie – By Yourself!

Wearing lingerie is different from wearing jeans and a t-shirt! If the first time you put on a piece of lingerie is before fun shenanigans, well, you’re probably going to be a LOT more self-conscious.

Get used to wearing lingerie by lounging in it! Get a cute lingerie set with a robe, and have a self-care night (maybe Sunday night?) where you pamper yourself while wearing lingerie!

You’ll be able to see how it moves (and how sturdy it is, cough), while having fun for you!

Photo courtesy of Suma Jane Dark

Action Item #4: Boudoir Session & Selfies FTW

I have heard from many readers that doing a boudoir photography session totally changed their view of their bodies. A good boudoir session shows you in all of your glory, and a boudoir photographer will understand how to work within your comfort zone to share some fabulous pictures.

Boudoir photography allows you to see yourself as others see you – helping you silence your mean inner critic.

I love Suma Jane Dark and Honey Lark Boudoir for boudoir sessions!

Selfies can also help you take fabulous photos! Have a fun photo session with yourself or grab a friend to help you take cute photos.

Finally, Your Partner(s) Know(s) What You Look Like!

My BFF Alex of Chubby Struggles totally changed my worldview with this hot tip:

“Your partner already knows what you look like!”

We have this idea that people are going to be totally shocked when they see us in lingerie, but babe, they already know where you carry your weight and what you look like! It’s pretty unlikely that you’re going to take off your clothes and they’ll be like, “OMG!! YOU HAVE A FULL STOMACH?!!?!?”

They know what they’ve signed up for, so rock your bad self!!! 😉

Where to Buy Plus Size Lingerie?

Okay, so now that you’ve read this post – you’re ready to try new pieces! Check out this roundup with my fave plus size lingerie brands!

most variety of plus size lingerie options for up to a 3x

Keep Up with My Body Positive Journey

If you want to stay up-to-date on my body positive journey, I recommend joining me on your favorite social media platform (Facebook, Instagram or Twitter), where I regularly talk about fashion, feels and life!

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